I did not disclose my abuse until I was an adult. I was 14 at the time the first encounter happened, and I first disclosed everything to a therapist a decade later. My mother had immense feelings of guilt that she should have been more aware of what was going on, but she was working two jobs that both my perpetrators (one when I was 14-17 years, the other at 16), took full advantage of.
We were trying to survive financially as a family and the Internet was still a relatively new concept, let alone chat rooms. I was still trying to process my parents’ divorce, and felt lonely and sad. I didn’t want to burden my parents because they were already grieving, even though I knew I should have told them because I trusted them.
The Global Threat Assessment advocates for a child-centred approach which considers the rights of privacy, age-appropriate autonomy and keeps child welfare and protection at the centre of the issue. This is important because some children or youth may not have the maturity to make good decisions or enforce strong boundaries.
A trauma-informed perspective is also important because it can influence how children and youth may seek support – there needs to be trust! This means stressing confidentiality, a sense of safety and collaboration, agency and independence so a democratic relationship is established. This can be done by asking open-ended questions from the perspective of the victim or survivor to try and understand their experience.
We must also consider intersectionality, such as gender, race, disability, or sexual orientation. Law enforcement needs to be on board with child-centred approaches and avoid blaming the victim. Other kinds of trauma may have pre-existed the technology-assisted child sexual abuse (TA-CSA), as well as inherent risk factors – such as poverty, illiteracy, family addiction, emotional neglect or unavailability.
A child-centred approach can help re-parent the parents and encourage them to work through their own traumas while also supporting their child affected by the sexual abuse or exploitation. The support of the family is crucial because this is often one’s first social and personal relationship. Sometimes, the caregivers may not even have knowledge of the Internet or computer.
In terms of providing support to survivors, I feel that online child sexual exploitation and abuse has its own stigma. It often leaves victims with a legacy of humiliation and shame, and due to embarrassment, shame, or fear, they do not report.
I have found few support groups exist for families who have been affected by this kind of abuse, and that they are often experiencing distressing feelings, such as blame, and shame. The child can carry an enormous amount of guilt as well.
I feel many online adult survivor groups (such as forums) are good as they explore inappropriate boundaries, emotional incest, non-contact sexual abuse, and encourage individuals to share their experiences in a non-judgmental space.
Many children and youth do not have the coping skills or life experience to know what grooming and exploitation looks like, until threats are made. We need to say it’s OK to respect your boundaries and it all begins with teaching healthy consent. We need to talk more about the grooming process, because many children do not know what’s happening until it’s too late. In my case, I was blackmailed when I thought I was exploring developmental sexuality. And another encounter did not start off sexual, but escalated quickly despite never meeting the offenders.
In terms of the main changes to current response strategies, we need to stress that sexual abuse exists on a spectrum, and ensure greater education on what online child sexual abuse and exploitation looks like (psychological, covert and overt). Children and youth should feel comfortable disclosing in whatever form they wish and not feel the need to minimise what has happened.
Highlighted in this report, trauma-informed counselling should be a stronger area of focus because many questions asked by law enforcement are not trauma-informed. Facts are crucial, but the impact needs to be closely monitored and support is crucial, especially from the non-abusive caregiver if the child has also been affected by incest and TA-CSA. This would be useful in considering resilience and protective factors.
We can build resilience by having conversations on what consensual sexting looks like, even if the image was self-generated. We shouldn’t criminalise healthy sexual development, but show that consequences for abusive behaviour are taken seriously, and that the child or youth’s emotions in the aftermath are also considered. Female-identified children and youth, in particular (as they overrepresent the children affected by TA-CSA) need to be shown resilience and age-appropriate sex positivity by not having the caregiver or supports engaging in “slut-shaming” behaviour or language, and all children need to be taught healthy consent at a young age.
Many parents are in denial that their child could be a perpetrator or rapist. At the same time,
children need some agency and accountability for their actions. This is especially relevant to challenge as the GTA highlights a rapid increase of peer-to-peer abuse as a developing lens of the harm. My offenders saw themselves as infallible and untouchable; “I don’t care if this ever happened to me”, to failing to report as a sex offender and re-offended online. When one of my abusers died, his mother saw him as a “good kid” and that he was “quiet and good with computers”. Little did she know he inflicted four hours of blackmail, terror and torture on me. Age-appropriate education is one hundred percent the responsibility of the parents.
For victims that might not have the resources (in Canada for example, poor, rural or northern areas, and Indigenous groups living in remote regions), information needs to be provided in the victim’s language and sensitive to their culture. There also should be more funding for professionals who specialise in supporting survivors who have been victimised by online child sexual exploitation and abuse.
I often see a divide in services between law enforcement, child protection and human trafficking networks, as well as websites like CyberTip. Because the system is underfunded and patchwork (for example over 1 million dollars was cut from funding for Ontario Rape Crisis Centers at the start of the pandemic), more children fall through the cracks, and especially so during the COVID-19 pandemic. This results in an understaffed support system working with scant resources and has major effects on the healthcare system. Ensuing mental health issues (anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation) have major costs.
I also feel there is no accountability for perpetrators/offenders. In Canada, the maximum sentence of 14 years pales in comparison to other nations. For example, the US has a minimum of 15 and maximum of 30 years for production, distribution and possession of technology-assisted child sexual abuse material, the aggravating factor being the intention to make a profit.
Survivor voices and our experiences can be a powerful catalyst in taking better and informed steps to make the internet safer. The Global Threat Assessment is an important recognition of this.
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